monday musings

i never expect life to be fair. ever since i can remember, it has been unfair to me. i am not the one to wish ill of anyone. just felt that some people can really be unfair. can really be biased. can really be almost evil even without trying or them knowing.

i never expect life to be fair, but i always try to be. and at times, i just wish i won't think about fairness and equality all the time. when i'm mad, when i'm fuming mad...i would still try to play fair. even if other people don't and won't. and i wish i could just be unfair.

i wish this feeling would just go away.

oh yeah?! that's what you think! why are you telling me? no! i can't stand it! - sally brown's philosophy.

might as well be my own. might as well be the things i've said. only i didn't. but i've been screaming it inside my head. oh yeah? that's what you think. why are you telling me? i can't stand it!

i can't stand your one-sided, bigoted and just plain stupid ideas that you take as bible truth. your truths that you want others to just agree. oh yeah? that's what you think.

why are you telling me? why? these things i could live for the rest of my life without knowing. it won't add any value to my life. why are you telling me? why can't you just shut up, forget about it and go on with your f---ng life? hearsay evidence don't stand a chance in court. you should know. and besides, what other people think, what the whole community think, whatever every tom, dick and harry think - whoever they are, will not make it anymore true than it is. oh yeah? the whole neighborhood thinks it is? damn them! even if the whole country thinks and says so, that won't make anything true.

no! i can't stand it! let me rephrase it...i can't stand YOU're lopsided ideas.

things would have been easier if we're not related.