success and failure

successful people owes their success to many people that helped them through hard times. failure on the other hand is nobody's fault but the one who failed. how come? could there also be some people who caused your downfall? a person in authority who pulled strings to pull your feet?

missing tatay

it has been days since father died. and i have been looking inside my heart and mind for bits and pieces of time together with him. this exercise is an effort because of the long time that we were not together. in fact, my other siblings were lucky because they were with tatay longer than i did. i was only 6 when my parents separated and i was left to the care of my lola. looking back, one of the most cherished memories was when i was 6 or 7 years old. we were going down a steep slope. for a child, it was steep. and i was afraid to go down on my own for fear of falling. tatay then lifted me up on his shoulder and told me not to be afraid because tatay will take care of me. and i felt safe. and there was a time,i think i was 5, when i was sick and i don't want him to leave. but he said he is going to fetch my grandfather from the airport and will be back soon. i asked him not to leave because i was sick. and he assured me he'll be back soon and i should sleep so i'd get well. so i slept and was surprised when i woke and he's beside me. i asked - why are you here? i thought you're going to fetch lolo? and he said "kasi may sakit ka." i was just glad that before he got sick, i had the chance to embrace him tightly during my nephew's christening. it has been a year i think when i decided to stay away from him because of the many controversies spawned by the people who wants tatay to themselves. but i missed him so much that when i saw him i hugged him tight. my only regret is that when i asked him if he missed me and he said yes, i was not able to say "i missed you too tatay."