and i have to hope, once again
for that love to be requited
once again, i stare at nothing
holding on to nothing
not even a promise
and yet still hoping
it may have been nothing more
than just a passing thought,
a word to fill the gap, the silence
for a fool like me, that seems
like a rope of hope
and i cling to the rope.
sana hindi ako mahulog...
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
there is really wisdom in keeping your mouth shut... when you are not sure or when you feel alone, lonely, depressed at pinagkakaisahan!
well... maybe it was just my imagination or she was really just not in the mood. this coming saturday na ang film showing. wish ko lang dumating yung mga nag commit dumating. if not..well, who's loss is it anyway?
i've been thinking... i should get a once a week job. like a part-time job that doesn't involve selling. something like a desk job. to make ends meet. pwede na kaya ang 4T a month? pwede na yun! basta magkaroon ng extra income.
hmmmm....whom can i turn to? to give me that break. i just learned, my sister who's teaching also works as a secretary to a club that gives her 4T a month salary. and they only meet once a week. think, think, think... what job... and who will give me that job?
well... maybe it was just my imagination or she was really just not in the mood. this coming saturday na ang film showing. wish ko lang dumating yung mga nag commit dumating. if not..well, who's loss is it anyway?
i've been thinking... i should get a once a week job. like a part-time job that doesn't involve selling. something like a desk job. to make ends meet. pwede na kaya ang 4T a month? pwede na yun! basta magkaroon ng extra income.
hmmmm....whom can i turn to? to give me that break. i just learned, my sister who's teaching also works as a secretary to a club that gives her 4T a month salary. and they only meet once a week. think, think, think... what job... and who will give me that job?
Friday, September 10, 2004
if there's one thing that pisses me off (well actually there are a lot of things that pisses me off) its not knowing what you've done wrong and yet somehow feel or is made felt that i did something to piss another off.
i really don't know where it began. just this morning, we were kind of okay. then suddenly i was being ignored. how did i know, a lot of things - like not looking at me she kinda have a different mood when talking to me. she shifts moods... like she looks happy naman when she talks to anybody else (except me) and then she faces me with a long face. i don't know if i'm just being paranoid or too sensitive. for all i know, she may be going through a tough time. only... she wears that mood only when she talks to me.
whatever... have to go now. ít's almost five pm and my time was 4pm. on monday maybe, i'll just come in late or maybe leave early to go to school and get my grades. i was supposed to go today but things are not in it's right place right now.
i really don't know where it began. just this morning, we were kind of okay. then suddenly i was being ignored. how did i know, a lot of things - like not looking at me she kinda have a different mood when talking to me. she shifts moods... like she looks happy naman when she talks to anybody else (except me) and then she faces me with a long face. i don't know if i'm just being paranoid or too sensitive. for all i know, she may be going through a tough time. only... she wears that mood only when she talks to me.
whatever... have to go now. ít's almost five pm and my time was 4pm. on monday maybe, i'll just come in late or maybe leave early to go to school and get my grades. i was supposed to go today but things are not in it's right place right now.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
what now? now what? i know that my apple has been writing to her friends... and i have yet to receive one from her. that's one for my ever active imagination. well, maybe she's just enjoying the attention and is not really interested. Maybe? maybe i should stop saying maybe...i should stop. Stop whatever hope my imaginings are taking me.
checked her friendster account and she just checked her account. no word from her there... anywhere,not even a post in the bulletin board. dedma... if i remember right, i did wrote her after she left. and i told her to keep in touch. naghihintay na naman yung gagah na ako na naman ang magsimula ng communication. dapat kung love ko talaga siya, i won't let this get in the way of reaching out. but noooo... i have to make this an issue. bakit ako na lang nang ako ang nagsisimula? why can't she ever make the first move? BECAUSE... and get this in your thick skull --- she's NOT interested. gets? kaya kung ako sa akin, i'd get the hell out there and find me someone who is interested and also interesting of course. DARN!
checked her friendster account and she just checked her account. no word from her there... anywhere,not even a post in the bulletin board. dedma... if i remember right, i did wrote her after she left. and i told her to keep in touch. naghihintay na naman yung gagah na ako na naman ang magsimula ng communication. dapat kung love ko talaga siya, i won't let this get in the way of reaching out. but noooo... i have to make this an issue. bakit ako na lang nang ako ang nagsisimula? why can't she ever make the first move? BECAUSE... and get this in your thick skull --- she's NOT interested. gets? kaya kung ako sa akin, i'd get the hell out there and find me someone who is interested and also interesting of course. DARN!
what now? now what? i know that my apple has been writing to her friends... and i have yet to receive one from her. that's one for my ever active imagination. well, maybe she's just enjoying the attention and is not really interested. Maybe? maybe i should stop saying maybe...i should stop. Stop whatever hope my imaginings are taking me.
checked her friendster account and she just checked her account. no word from her there... anywhere,not even a post in the bulletin board. dedma... if i remember right, i did wrote her after she left. and i told her to keep in touch. naghihintay na naman yung gagah na ako na naman ang magsimula ng communication. dapat kung love ko talaga siya, i won't let this get in the way of reaching out. but noooo... i have to make this an issue. bakit ako na lang nang ako ang nagsisimula? why can't she ever make the first move? BECAUSE... and get this in your thick skull --- she's NOT interested. gets? kaya kung ako sa akin, i'd get the hell out there and find me someone who is interested and also interesting of course. DARN!
checked her friendster account and she just checked her account. no word from her there... anywhere,not even a post in the bulletin board. dedma... if i remember right, i did wrote her after she left. and i told her to keep in touch. naghihintay na naman yung gagah na ako na naman ang magsimula ng communication. dapat kung love ko talaga siya, i won't let this get in the way of reaching out. but noooo... i have to make this an issue. bakit ako na lang nang ako ang nagsisimula? why can't she ever make the first move? BECAUSE... and get this in your thick skull --- she's NOT interested. gets? kaya kung ako sa akin, i'd get the hell out there and find me someone who is interested and also interesting of course. DARN!
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