once such incident is when a co-worker almost got harassed (and what else might have happened if she was not quick enough to think of something to get out of the situation), and another co-worker asked what she's wearing. he even quipped that the victim (or rather survivor) may be wearing that skinny jeans. and when he saw that she was, another comment - so there, he says. (kaya pala!).
that started a heated argument. between me and that co-worker. i can't help it. i can never keep my mouth shut on issues like that.
after the heated argument that did not go anywhere, i searched the net for sites that would back up my claim - that no matter what a person wears, its not a reason for others to commit harassment or violence. there was a site that did a survey. in that survey, men and women alike said that they think clothes were a factor in the commitment of the act of violence. i was shocked and disheartened. of course the survey only proved that there's still that thinking that women invited VAW. and why not? i often heard that the clothes are reason for attacks. not true in my sister's case (and mine too). my sister observed that she was more often harassed when in jeans and shirt. i, on the other hand, don't dress provocatively. i prefer jeans and shirt. and i still get harassed. one time, i was even wearing a long sleeved blouse that hid everything when on old man harassed me.
and i did another search that yielded something more concrete or should i say objective, than just perception of people on who's to blame. it was on google answers:
- convicted rapists don't remember what their victims were wearing (http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/776945.html#answer)
- victims are chosen on account of their vulnerability and not because they are sexually provocative (read: dressed sexily) (Wichita State University http://webs.wichita.edu/?u=police&p=/sexual_assault/)
statistically speaking, rape and other forms of violence against women happen to all walks of life and at any age. haven't we heard of babies and grandparents being raped? could we possibly say that those babies and grandmothers were wearing provocative clothes that invited the assault?
i might say that the way one dresses indeed catches attention. but appreciating and assault are two different things.
i don't have the statistics on what the women were wearing when they were sexually assaulted. but do i have to? are perpetrators of violence not responsible for their own actions? they should be. we are all responsible for our own actions. so why not rapists and harassers?
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