Holy Week Trauma

on april 8, at about 1am. i heard a crash, i thought what happened? maybe nanay was going through the kitchen and just as i was thinking that when she called to ask what am i doing? i ran down and saw that our kitchen louver was crashed. there was a hole in the kitchen wall.
i was so shocked and so afraid i could barely breath and talk. i could feel my something in my throat while i was attempting to tell nanay that somebody's trying to break in our house. realizing what's going on, nanay started to cry.
i ran to her and held her and told her not to cry. we'll ask for help. i called kuya rollo using nanay's cellphone. but it was not answered. then i called marlyn's number. it was unattended. i texted kuya and marlyn what happened.but i waited a few seconds before i decided to go out. i was afraid that the crooks would be waiting in front of the house. but since i thought that there was no way to go from back of the house to the front except through the bubong, i ran outside and called the homeowner' asso. president (teroy). i told him someone's trying to break in and he called the barangay outpost.
after a few minutes, he told me what the barangay told him. they said it was useless to come over since i scared the burglars away. it would be better to go back to sleep now and report the incident (file a blotter) when day breaks. then i read kuya's text message - that we should go out and ask help from the neighbors.
although i was hesitant, i cannot think of anything better to do than follow what the barangay told teroy. what i really wanted was to make them come over and check the back. i went in and up the loft to off the fan. i thought i'd sleep with nanay. i had barely stepped two ladders down when there was another crash. i ran and saw that my pingganan was all over the floor. my plates and glasses and mugs were broken. this time i was afraid and angry that i shouted. i called for teroy and told him that they had come back. nanay kept on crying so i held her and we went out.
i was heard four houses away and my neighbors came out. i was so hysterical and nanay kept on crying. i texted kuya that the burglars came back. teroy called the barangay again and this time they came with the barangay police carrying arms. (at this time kuya texted back that they are on their way) they went in and took a look. then teroy requested they go round at the back. the back of our house cannot be accessed through the subdivision, they have to go out of the subdivision. the back of the row of houses does not belong to the developer who built our houses.
when they were there, i heard a shot. they told me later that it was just a warning shot. then i was requested to go to the barangay to file a blotter. i went alone since the barangay police after checking the back did not came back.
i road a tricycle to the barangay which was located so far away. i don't know how many minutes passed before we reached the place. upon reaching the hall, i knocked. i thought it was the wrong hall because there was only one person in that place, and i just woke him up. then a few minutes, the barangay police arrived. the same people who came to the subdivision. as i was giving my statement, teroy called and asked us to go back because the burglar came back. (while i was giving my statement, nanay texted me that kuya rollo is already there.) the barangay officials seem hesitant and was unbelieving. how could they come back? they asked among themselves. we already gave a warning shot? i texted teroy to call again and explain. he did call again.
after they took my statement, they told me to go to the police to ask assistance. the barangay police would go back. at the police station, there was only one police manning (excuse me for the gender insensitive term) the station. he told me could not leave the station but took my statement. he explained that there were only 3 police officers in that precint and all of them are dispatched because there was a reported shoot out in buhay na tubig and they are there. but in case i really needed the police and the barangay police can not handle it, i could call him (he gave me his callcard and the direct line of the police station) and he would pull out his men and sent it to me.
when i arrived home, nanay, kuya rollo and marlyn were all outside. including our neighbors and the barangay police. i cried for the first time that day when i saw kuya. it was past 3 am in the morning.
that night, i couldn't sleep. the slightest noise would sent me up my feet. my heart beating fast. it has remained that way for 3 days. i texted my officemates and friends. some called and i told them the details. i badly needed people to talk to. my neighbors were all helpful.
kuya put up a temporary rehas in place of the broken louver. then he put some plywood up so we could not be seen from the outside. but we, nanay and i, are still restless. that night, kuya, marlyn and miggy slept over. they went home thursday night. kuya said he'll be back saturday and that we should not be afraid.
i texted auntie vicky and judy. i asked them to come over. i needed some moral support. they did come, and for the time that they were there my heartbeat was normal. but as soon as they left, i could feel my heartbeat running 100miles/second.
thursday night, i slept downstairs. i was afraid that the burglars would next target the ceiling. and i'm near the ceiling. or that they would come through the kitchen again and i couldn't run to nanay to get her out of the house. i couldn't sleep. at 430am, i fell asleep. then woke up at 5am. my alarm went off. then by 6am, nanay was already up and it was already light outside i decided to sleep. then, i heard my auntie's voice. i went down and was surprised to see that it was already 10am. i thought i just slept a few minutes. while they were there, everything seems fine. when they left, things got stressful again. i could already feel that my body is trembling. i thought this is not good. but no matter what relaxation technique i did, i could not make my body relax.
then at 5pm, judy, joy, macy and pj-joy's bf came over. they stayed up to 7pm. again, my heart was beating normally. i stopped shaking. but when they left, it all started again.
kuya texted that he will be back at night. and i was relieved. nanay and i waited for him outside. i couldn't stay inside the house. but outside, i kept on peeking inside. nanay and i were both restless. though we don't talk about it. when finally kuya arrived, it was almost 10pm. he slept downstairs and told me to go up. i thought i'd never sleep. i prayed the rosary. and asked for peace. the moment my head hit the pillow, i slept. i woke up at about past 7am. it was my first sleep after that incident.