i'm on the brink of something new. it always is like this whenever it's time for a change. tamad na tamad akong bumangon. like nothing is ever exciting. i go to work dragging my feet. i don't feel the same zest as i used to. maybe it's the lull between working so hard and in a fast paced and then finding myself suddenly na mabagal ulit ang takbo ng buhay...

love comes in a most unexpected place. what's more, it not who you thought it would be. like last night, i was thinking of this girl i just met - i'd call her julia (pretty woman? get it?). i was like playing with the thought of her in my mind and fell asleep. woke up at 30 min. past 12 and she's still on my mind. can't go back to sleep so i lighted an incense that says it should put me to sleep. sleep i did. and woke up a feeling differently. is this just one of those passing things? i don't know, but the thought of her excites me.

o ayan, meron nang something exciting sa buhay ko. i think i'd better do something with my life. like what? i need to be fulfilled so that hindi lang siya panakip butas sa walang katorya-toryang buhay ko. parang lahat ng mga lalaking nagdaan sa buhay ko. mga panakip-butas. hehehe... well literally and figuratively - like they fill a hole when i've got nothing to do, when there seems to be nowhere to go and my life sucks. but when things pick-up, eh di goodbye.

now i'm thinking.. what can i offer her? i'd like for her to be the queen of my life. i need a job (or something) that would be the source of our living. ngyehh! i'm thinking of making her my wife. ano kaya tawag sa akin? i'm definitely not a butch... but when i think of her, all the tender feelings, like i want to feed her, protect her and love her comes to the fore.

not just another feeling i hope. not just one of those transcient things as all things have come to be in my life - friends, lovers, jobs, interests and the like. am i glad i did not go into any relationships before i met her. now, what next? should i just wait in vain and let serendipity take place? hindeeee...pag nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon i will let her know. that is - kung... and eto ang fate/destiny/serendipity's role. will there be a chance on earth that we will see each other again? or that maybe that chance we could work together? work... yes work. there is nothing else i could think of that could better let me know another than work. compatibility sa attitude sa work is one important thing/value for me. yoko ng tamad.